Change self-sabotaging behaviors & turn your job search around!

For years, I’ve observed self-sabotaging behaviors that derail many job seekers’ efforts to gain employment. Complaints about the job market frequently overshadow what job seekers do to prevent them from making progress. Today, I still see the same self-defeating behaviors getting in the way of people achieving their employment goals.

As I see it, many reasons for people remaining unemployed have less to do with the lack of available jobs. Bad habits and self-sabotaging behaviors create roadblocks. If you are struggling with your job search, it’s probably time to identify what you can change to turn things around. The following are typical self-defeating behaviors that can easily be changed:

1. Sleeping in late
2. Procrastinating
3. Following up with introductions weeks later
4. Not following up with contacts after initial meetings
5. Abusing their extended networks
6. Being ill-prepared to meet new people or follow up on leads
7. Relying on job postings (passive search)
8. Exaggerating skills and qualifications
9. Overselling themselves
10. Appearing desperate
11. Making assumptions
12. Targeting unrealistic roles
13. Waiting for a dream job to miraculously appear
14. Failing to plan
15. Poor time management
16. Paralyzing themselves with irrational fears
17. Overestimating ROI from long-term education/certificate programs
18. Relying on unemployment compensation for too long
19. Taking vacations without a plan for staying in contact
20. Preparing for an interview too late or not at all
21. Unwillingness to get uncomfortable or go the extra mile
22. Giving up

You can change your self-sabotaging behaviors.

Do you recognize any of your behaviors in that list? Most of them, you say? Well, take heart. You can change your self-sabotaging behaviors and expect to get different results. In my nearly 30 years of experience in this field, I’ve helped people go from writhing in despair to securing the job of their dreams. It can happen to you! It just depends on the changes you’re willing to make.  I’ll share a list of action steps that have stood the test of time in helping people become gainfully employed:

Be honest with yourself.

Complete an accurate self-assessment. Examine the list of behaviors and identify the ones that hit home. Be honest with yourself. It’s painful to examine the ugly truths about our behavior. But acknowledging the part you play in your current situation is the first step in producing the results you desire. Make a list of the behaviors you immediately need to change to improve your results. Start with one behavior and work on it every day for a week. Then add another. Track your progress. If you find you’re being inconsistent, fix it!

Commit to change. Decide that you’re going to take charge of your destiny. You can’t control the economy, your employer (or lack of one), other people’s decisions or actions, or much else. But you can control your attitude, your thoughts, and your actions. Picture getting behind the wheel of a bus and driving it where you want to go. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on negative thoughts or try to out-guess what someone will say or do. Ask questions. Be willing to get feedback. Be committed to doing something different than what you have been doing.

Consider different options.

Write out your employment goals. Make them specific and measurable. The difference between making a resolution and establishing a goal is setting timelines and creating accountability. Break them down into short-term, mid-term, and long-term. There are different avenues to explore to get you where you ultimately want to go. Stop thinking your next job has to be the ONE. You can probably do anything for a limited time. And why wouldn’t you if it is a job that pays you and positions you to achieve a longer-term goal? That doesn’t mean you should take ANY job. It means you should consider different options for learning new skills or broadening your network in ways that make you more competitive in the longer-term.

Stay focused. Is securing employment necessary to maintain your chosen lifestyle? Then approach your job search like a full-time job until you get what you need. Make your job search your priority. Post goals or a picture of what they mean to you above your computer, on the bathroom mirror, or – better yet – over your television screen. Do whatever it takes to remind you of what your focus needs to be to achieve your goals.

Start jumping on things earlier.

Create good habits. Replace self-destructive behaviors with positive ones. For example, do you sleep in? Act as though you were going to a job you love. Get up early, get dressed – right down to the shoes! You’ll feel energized and empowered. Do you tend to procrastinate? If that hasn’t been working for you, then start jumping on things earlier. Make yourself ready for more important activities.

Be aware of how you appear to others. Do you seem desperate? Are you untidy, late for appointments, disorganized or rushed? Find out how others perceive you and make repairs. Don’t make a bad impression by puffing yourself up and not delivering. You may feel desperate, but there are ways to appear confident. For instance, preparing in advance for interviews will considerably lessen your anxiety. Meeting deadlines, asking well-thought-out questions of others, and sharing useful information are all ways to show others you would be someone they would want on their team.

Be realistic.

Don’t overstate your skills and qualifications. Be realistic. Sure, it’s great to dream, but trying to talk your way into a dream job that’s way over your head is simply a waste of your time and other people’s time, too. If you’re honest, people will remember you when an opportunity arises that you’re truly qualified for. Otherwise, if people think you want to be the king, you better be competitive as a king. If you’re not, and a knight’s position opens, no one will think you’re willing to step down.

Plan ahead. Prepare in advance for an interview. Select your interview clothes now – before you get even a whiff of an interview schedule. You’ll look sharp and have one less thing to distract you from presenting your best self at an interview. When you have a meeting or interview, plan to arrive at least a half hour before the scheduled time in case something goes awry. It’s better to cool your heels in a nearby coffee shop, than to arrive late. How long will it take to get there? Make a trial run to the interview site to find out about traffic snarls, construction, road/sidewalk closures, etc., that could make you late. On the morning of the meeting check the Internet for possible traffic delays. It all adds up. Working out the nuts and bolts before an interview will help you relax and focus on the job.

Look for inspiration every day.

Never give up. Stop talking yourself out of getting what you want. At the same time, stop doing the same thing the same way, expecting different results. Look for inspiration every day.  Don’t expect your cheer leading squad to root you on when they have no idea what you’re doing behind the scenes. Look inward. Abraham Lincoln was defeated repeatedly in bids for office, went broke and into debt, suffered unspeakable personal losses, struggled with deep depression, and faced uncountable setbacks. But he became one of the most successful and influential people in history. Why? Because he never gave up.

Michael Jordan has been quoted as saying “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”  He never gave up. He tried new methods and new approaches.

Joe Schmoe was a talented, skilled, highly educated man who (fill in the blank). You say you never heard of Joe Schmoe? Of course not.  He gave up!

If you’ve been using a passive approach of throwing resumes at job announcements for a couple of hours every day without results, look inward to see what else you can change to turn things around. Changing sabotaging behaviors will immediately improve your results. Take it one step at a time. The alternative is to do nothing, which keeps you right where you are.

For more career advice, check out my webinars on Goal Setting – Getting Focused, Managing Multiple Commitments – Getting it all done!, Career Assessment and follow me on LinkedIn and (X) Twitter.