Networking Etiquette 2
Many times I hear from people who have responded to a request for information from someone in their network never acknowledged the info or did not follow up with the information once it was provided.
If you are not receiving the results/responses you had hoped for through your networking efforts, there may be a good reason for it. Here are some simple reminders regarding “networking courtesy” when provided with a lead or when someone shares information with you. (This goes for candidates seeking job leads and employers seeking candidates!)
Copy the referring party. Remember to copy the person that directed you to the lead on your correspondence with the new contact. It is courteous to include them to show that you followed up, but may also help prod the referral into action when they recognize the referring party’s name.
Use background information when crafting your response. Make sure you have considered the resource carefully and prepared your questions well. If the original contact has provided you with inside information, take the time to note it and reference it. Using this information shows the new contact you have paid attention and are interested in them, and is also a sign of respect.
Ask questions that can be easily understood. Use open-ended sentences, i.e: “Please describe”, “please tell me about”, “how would you….” and be specific in what you are asking. “Please tell me about your industry” is too vague. “Please tell me what you like most about your industry” is more specific.
A thank you go a long way. Thank anyone that has taken time to help you by providing information of any kind. A personal note on a thank you card is appropriate when someone actually meets with you in person.
Stay in touch with your new contacts and let them know you are thinking of them. Send an article of interest, or even simply update them on your progress.
If you are serious about developing relationships, you will incorporate these actions with your networking. Otherwise, you may run the risk of presenting yourself as a self-absorbed opportunist that is only out for what you need at the time.
How have you shown sincerity and appreciation to a new networking contact?
Is Your B.S. Meter Working?
Recently, one of my clients shared his frustration with the game that is played between candidates, H.R., recruiters, and hiring managers when sharing information (or not) about the status of a role or actual qualifications needed. The conversation then expanded to include his interactions with fellow job seekers that may embellish their skills or exaggerate their experiences. In fact, he asked me to offer a workshop to teach people how to better determine when people are not being forthcoming or simply not telling the truth, as in, “How to Train Your B.S. Meter”.
Since I am not a licensed psychotherapist, nor do I have qualifications that remotely speak to why human behavior is the way it is, I thought a workshop would be overstepping my area of expertise. Most of my work however, does involve counseling people on how to deal with the ambiguities and inconsistencies found in the work place each and every day. Personally, having served for years as a hiring manager for businesses, a manager of two staffing services, and now as a career coach for over 12 years, one might say that I have developed heightened radar when it comes to believing (or not) the stories candidates tell, or accepting (or not) the reasons given by hiring managers for making decisions.
The bottom line here is that we all have to deal with these communication issues, whether we understand them or not. There are some specific behaviors I have observed that more or less serve as barometers that can indicate when things are different than they seem on the surface.
The following examples are not all inclusive, nor are they intended to be absolute facts; they simply are the indicators that show me something is a little off. In essence, the things that set off my B.S. Meter.
Candidates
Dedication: When a candidate tells me they rise at 7:00 AM every day, but their first email response arrives at 11:00 each day. Or, they are really, really tan and have said they have been working at the library for 8 hours each day.
Motivation: When they come up with more reasons for not applying for positions, than they seek out opportunities they can apply for. Or, when they are taking 3-day ski-weekends, but say they are broke and desperate for a job. Or, when they can’t go to an interview because they have to get their nails done or their dog groomed. (See dedication.)
Experience: When a candidate refers to themselves as having a specific level of expertise, or implies they have had a specific level of authority, and it is discovered that they either just completed a degree so their intention is to have that role, or their past experience reveals that they actually held a higher role for no more than a few months. Or, the V.P. role they held was for a start up that immediately went under. (Some people may remember this common occurrence from post dot com days.) Or, when asked about details from work done within the last 5 years, are unable to remember any level of detail at all.
Project Management: When a candidate says they have strong project management skills, but consistently misses deadlines or waits until the last possible minute to accomplish tasks. Or, when they have no idea what the status is on any of the irons they have (had?) in the fire. Or, when they make many, many promises, and fulfill none. Or, when candidates are unable to commit to activities that are beyond two days away or arrive on time for the ones they have committed to.
Competence: When people state they have held highly responsible, complex or detail filled positions, but cannot follow simple directions related to applications, submissions, and appropriate follow up, and may also have extremely poor writing skills.
Excuses: When I am told the same exact excuse in detail that I was told the preceding week when something else didn’t happen when it should have. I.E., the refrigerator repairman was here all day (but wasn’t that last Thursday?), or perhaps they are going to their grandmother’s funeral for the 3rd time. Truly- when the list of excuses out numbers the solutions they may produce.
Hiring Managers or Recruiters
Dedication: When they are on vacation more frequently than they are at work during a time when they have stated that everyone in the company is working overtime, with less staff to accomplish more.
Motivation: When every candidate they speak with has something ‘not quite right’, but they can’t put their finger on it. Or when it appears they are stroking a candidate’s ego, because there are no concrete actions to back up the words, or no follow through in regard to promises made.
Experience: When they are unable to understand/identify very obvious points about a person’s background, i.e: asking why someone in IT may have been unemployed in 2002, or why someone left Washington Mutual in 2008. (O.k., I know they just want to hear the story, but believe me, some actually ask the question and act surprised at the answers!) Or when they interview candidates that someone familiar with the industry would clearly see is not qualified for a specific role. They not only end up wasting everyone’s time, but have built up false confidence for the candidate, which often fuels their continued interest in roles they will continue to be uncompetitive for. (See “Competence”)
Project Management: When they are unable to reply to an email or return a call, or they continue to set time lines that are overlooked or unmet. I.e., a candidate’s calls/emails are not returned when both are in the middle of the interview process. Or,when candidates are actually stood up when scheduled for an interview. Or, when they put out a request for candidates, but never acknowledge referrals that are sent to them. (See “Excuses”)
Competence: When they continue to hide behind rules because they can’t articulate any reason for their actions. Or, when they clearly do not understand the mission of the role they are trying to fill, or show no evidence of understanding the company’s mission, for that matter.
Excuses: They are “too busy”. “I need to let the process follow its course for consistency and equitability”. “Processes are followed to ensure fairness.” “We are having system problems.” (See “Dedication”)
You might be asking yourself, “What does this have to do with my job search?” In pretty simple terms, unless your B.S. Meter is on, you are going to find yourself wasting time going down roads that don’t pan out or trying to help people that are only wasting their own time. Or, you might find yourself taking it personally when a hiring manager strings you along. In any of these cases, it takes your eyes off the ball, takes a little more wind out of your sails. It is important to stay on course, and not let the inconsistencies and ambiguities you encounter keep you from ending up where you need to be.
The second half of that is, other people’s B.S. meters may be on high, while yours is on low. If you are exhibiting behaviors anything like those described above, then they could be visible enough to others to make them think twice about recommending you. In which case, perhaps your meter needs a tune up or you need to stop BS-ing.
The key here is to ask questions, get firm commitments, and respond to what you see, not what has been said. Actions speak louder than words.
Add your experiences or examples of inconsistencies you have encountered of your own, with fellow job seekers or with recruiters/hiring managers that took you off course. What did you do about it?
Social Media: Tools or Life Style?
Randy Woods at NWjobs.com recently interviewed me on this subject. Read the article.
Networking Etiquette
No one will dispute that we are knee deep in a recession. Or that times are tough for everyone. You may be distracted or feeling harried. Somewhere along the line, in spite of the stress we all may be under, it is important to remember basic courtesies and the Golden Rule. This is a quick reminder intended to help keep people from burning their bridges and perhaps stifling relationships that could prove to be valuable down the road. If you have asked others for help with your job search or with your career development issues, then please take a minute to read these tips.
1. Pay attention! If you are going to ask for help, then be ready to respond. All too often, a please for assistance goes out, and responses are sent, yet the initiator may take days to respond. Not good form. If you have put out a request for help (for absolutely anything), then by all means, make yourself available for the answer. Further, remember to thank those that respond, even if they are unable to provide the information you requested.
2. Be prepared. In order to get an introduction, your ducks need to be in a row. That means you have prepared an introductory paragraph that can be used by your contact to introduce you to the party you have requested to meet. Valuable time is wasted while the person in between thinks of the right thing to say about you. If you have already been introduced, then you also need to be prepared to take immediate action. Be prepared to follow up by sending a recruiter a resume, or by answering questions from the 3rd party. In either case, allowing for days to pass in between only diminishes the likelihood that the person will make themselves available at a later date, or for that matter, remember who the heck you are when/if you finally surface.
3. Be responsive. If you have asked for an introduction, and consequently get one, then follow up within 48 hours! There is simply no excuse for not following up immediately, even if it is to notify the party that you are in Brazil and will be getting back to them when you return in two weeks.
4. Keep the referring party (parties) in the loop. Any time someone helps connect you, they have a stake in what happens next. Their reputation is on the line. As a professional courtesy, it is appropriate for the person in between to be cc’d on your correspondence. They will then know what has transpired, and will be able to determine if their contact is responsive or not, or if you have represented them well. If there are a series of connections, then it may be important for those parties along the way to be aware of the trail.
5. Circle back. After it is all said and done, once you have connected with the person you have asked to meet, it is important to thank them for their time, and apprise the originator of the outcome.
Please describe the differences you have seen when you or someone else have/has been responsive and courteous in your/their networking efforts, versus when things have fallen through the cracks.
Who’s Really in Your Network?
For those of us that were around long before social networking sites were the rage, many of us actually knew people. Yes, I know the number of contacts you have may exceed 300. But how many of those people do you know? For that matter, how many of those people know you, I mean, really know you? Are you able to trust someone you don’t know? Can they trust you?
You may wonder why I bring up trust in relationship to networking, especially as it relates to the job market. It seems pretty simple: if you need a job, how can someone connect you with an opportunity if they:
1) Don’t know what your actual (not imagined)skills are
2) Don’t know what you are really qualified for (not just a “wanna be”)
3) Don’t know what else is going on that may prevent you from pursuing an opportunity they suggest
4) Aren’t sure they want to risk their reputation
And conversely, how can you trust that they:
1) Are recommending something that makes sense
2) Really know the people involved
3) Understand why/or why not a situation would be a good fit
In most cases, if you have access to contact information, then you have opportunity to get to know a person, to some degree. It’s really up to you to make an effort to get to know people, if you are interested in developing trusting relationships. It doesn’t happen overnight, and won’t happen without effort.
The real question is, when we talk about networking, how much do you show you really care about knowing other people? If people don’t seem to be hearing you, thinking of you, reaching out to you, then before you isolate, take action:
Ask questions. Stop talking, telling, arguing, complaining, and ask questions. If something sounds odd, then think of a question to pose that genuinely sounds like you are interested in understanding.
Pay attention. Listen to what is going on with others. Know or learn about the issues others are facing. Their angst, edginess, poor choice of words isn’t meant to hurt you or insult you. It just is how they may feel or what they are experiencing right now.
Reach out. Don’t just “link” to someone new. Communicate with them. Show you want to know them. Don’t expect people to come to you without an effort.
Participate. Joining ( a social website, an association, a church-whatever) doesn’t do it alone. You need to participate.
Get over yourself. It isn’t always about you. Have some empathy for where people are coming from before you interpret their actions as a snub or insult.
What can you do today to really get to know someone else, or help them to know you?
