When Networking Goes Bad
For 15+ years, networking has been my first and foremost prescribed method for an effective job search. Most people understand that people want to work with those they already know and like. Employers would typically rather hire a candidate that comes recommended by a valued employee, with the expectation their employee would never recommend someone that was not a good fit with the organization. All that is well and good, except when it all goes very wrong. Problems can occur when:
- People think connecting to someone on Linked in now means they “know” someone.
- When an introduction is made by a trusted friend or colleague, and the person requesting the introduction is ill-prepared for the conversation.
- Introductions have been made, and the requesting party takes weeks to follow up.
- Once the introduction was made, the requesting party fails to follow up with their original contact to show their appreciation or advise them of the outcome.
- People without previous inside connections or insight about a company wait until a position has been posted to try to connect with anyone and everyone they can, just to get through to the hiring manager.
- A resume gets forwarded by a virtual stranger, with no introduction.
- The person introducing a candidate is asked by the hiring manager (or HR) what they can tell them about the person’s work experience, and it is discovered they hardly know them.
- People misrepresent their relationships with others when speaking with contacts currently at their targeted companies.
Networking can be very fun, and very productive when all parties are clear about their intentions, have taken the time to prepare and understand the expected outcomes. Both the requesting party and the person making a referral can take some fairly simple precautions to ensure things don’t go off in a ditch.
If you are the requesting party, then preparation is a mandatory prerequisite. Research the company and the person you wish to meet as thoroughly as you can in advance. Be clear about your expectations. Prepare thoughtful questions that will exhibit your sincere interest. If you are requesting an introduction to a hiring manager, be aware of your true value and marketability for the role you are pursuing. Using someone else’s reputation for a long shot can only turn out badly if it ends up wasting the hiring manager’s time.
If you are the referring party, you have every right to ask questions about the person’s preparation prior to sticking your neck out. Make sure to ask about their goal in speaking with/meeting your contact. Ask what questions they are prepared to ask and how they anticipate following up. If their request is in regard to a job opening, make an effort to be clear about their qualifications and understanding of the position prior to referring them.
If you can add some examples of good or bad referrals, please share your story.
No matter which side of the referral you’re on. Giver or receiver another piece is the follow-up between the two of you.
As a giver, protect your reputation by making sure that it was a good referral, that the person was a good match and professional. That person is your stand-in in that interview because they are in part there because of your reputation. So as the giver don’t just do someone a favor because you want to be nice. The referrer needs to follow-up with both parties.
As the receiver, accept the referral as gold. Consider the gift seriously. Make sure to honestly evaluate the interview to give your referrer feedback about the match. This information exchange is critical to you both.
And a thank you is mandatory. Take nothing for granted. From the giver to the person who saw your referree and from the receiver to both parties.
Though posted a while back, the message is timely if you are networking and have not seen it before. It goes to the heart of building relationships – honor and respect. These are important precepts for all three persons involved in the referral as they build value.
Thanks, Ian!
Good things to keep in mind when asking for a referral or referring someone. Creating and maintaining meaningful networking relationships is critical. I think people want to help, but they don’t want to be used and certainly not misused, as in some of the scenarios mentioned above. Be mindful of others!
Thanks, Amy!